Yep, this is better - but a few suggestions re. composition etc. to tighten everything up a bit more now:
The opening sequence, with the spore in the foreground is much stronger, but you should keep the second spore out of shot until it moves into the shot as a foreground element; so, put more simply, the film begins with us only looking at one, and then the camera moves and introduces the second one - at the moment, we just catch a glimpse of the second spore just before we see it more completely, and it looks glitchy.
I think you need a more elegant camera movement when we move towards the spores on the leaf; the camera appears to fly through some of your elements, giving the sequence a glitchy, flashing quality, which looks like a lack of control or purpose; just choreograph that camera move so it feels more controlled and directed.
Hi Megan,
ReplyDeleteYep, this is better - but a few suggestions re. composition etc. to tighten everything up a bit more now:
The opening sequence, with the spore in the foreground is much stronger, but you should keep the second spore out of shot until it moves into the shot as a foreground element; so, put more simply, the film begins with us only looking at one, and then the camera moves and introduces the second one - at the moment, we just catch a glimpse of the second spore just before we see it more completely, and it looks glitchy.
I think you need a more elegant camera movement when we move towards the spores on the leaf; the camera appears to fly through some of your elements, giving the sequence a glitchy, flashing quality, which looks like a lack of control or purpose; just choreograph that camera move so it feels more controlled and directed.